12 March 2019
The best burns from the Roast of AKA
The Comedy Central Roast of AKA in partnership with Showmax dominated the Twitter conversation last night, as the Twitterati shared their best burns from the historic night, which saw Pearl Thusi become the first black woman Roast Master and Davido become the first-ever Nigerian panelist.
If you missed out on the LOLs, here’s our cheatsheet to get you excited to stream the uncensored version on Showmax.
Davido
Claim to fame: Over 19m social media followers. BET Award winner for Best International Act 2018.
Hottest roasts: To AKA: “When you collaborate, make sure you get a weaker rapper, so you don’t become a feature on your own song.”
Coldest shade: “You got your dad to buy a university just so you could get a degree. And we’re still stuck with lyrics like, ‘Banana fall on you.’” Mark Fish
Francois van Coke
Claim to fame: Judge on The Voice. Front man of Fokofpolisiekar and Van Coke Kartel. Solo artist.
Hottest roast: To AKA: “You and Cassper argue about who’s the best rapper. We all know: it’s Riky Rick.”
Coldest shade: “Francois is hot sh*t in the music industry. Which only proves that all you have to do to be successful in the Afrikaans music industry is… to be Afrikaans.” Mark Fish
Joey Rasdien
Claim to fame: Stand-up comedian. Actor in Bunny Chow and Blitz Patrollie.
Hottest roast: “Mark Fish looks like Mr Bean smoked too much tik.”
Coldest shade: “Joey, your movies should have Struggle songs by now – because they have struggled at the box office. Wow. And if you add your stand-up on top of that, you have more Struggle credentials than Jacob Zuma.” Pearl Thusi
Mark Fish
Claim to fame: AFCON 1996 winner. Captain on Survivor Champions. Pearl Thusi’s first celebrity crush. Mistaker of Sipho Hotstix Mabuse for Hugh Masekela.
Hottest roast: To Pappa Penny: “I can’t wait to not understand anything you’re saying.”
Coldest shade: “Mark Fish, I saw you earlier on. You were taking a picture with Pappa Penny there. Pappa Penny, watch out. Next week, he’ll post a picture with the legendary Oliver Mtukudzi.” Surprise guest Roaster, Mashabela Galane
Moonchild Sanelly
Claim to fame: Musician. Owner of Moonchild Cultwear and Naked Club.
Hottest roast: To Pearl Thusi: “You are an African girl but you struggle to do an African accent in your series.”
Coldest shade: “We’ve been asked to Roast someone who literally wears a mop on top of her head every day – by choice.” Mark Fish
Moshe Ndiki
Claim to fame: Actor: The Queen. Presenter: Uyang’thanda Na. YouTuber.
Hottest roast: “The drug problem on this stage is so bad that when Joey Rasdien arrived the first thing he asked was, ‘Is the Mandrax halaal?’”
Coldest shade: “Moshe plays Prince on the Queen. To be honest he’s not really acting… Prince is basically Moshe but with better clothes.” Mark Fish
Nina Hastie
Claim to fame: Stand-up comic. Presenter of Trending SA.
Hottest roast: To AKA: “Anyway, guys, ja ja, my vagina is the size of a soccer stadium. Hilarious. It may even be true but you know what: we all know that I will never fuck AKA because he would never be able to fill it up.”
Coldest shade: “The real gag is what do you know about trending? Because as far as I can tell, Pappa Penny’s hairpiece has more Twitter followers than you…” Moshe Ndiki
Pappa Penny
Claim to fame: The Shangaan disco king. Reality TV star of Penny Ahee. ANC councillor.
Hottest roast: “You know I was looking for my first-born for many years. I spent a lot of money. But today I am happy. Because it was Aka – Aka is a Shangaan name.”
Coldest shade: “I can’t believe Pappa Penny is a councillor in Limpopo. Now we are all surprised when there are no textbooks in Limpopo?” Joey Rasdien
Pearl Thusi
Claim to fame: Over 5m social media followers. Actress in Quantico and Catching Feelings.
Hottest roasts: To Pierre van Pletzen, who was a late cancellation: “We were going to have Oubaas from 7de Laan here. But it turns out he died in 1997 and no one noticed.”
Coldest shade: “I hear Quantico was cancelled after you were in it. With your talent, I’m surprised they haven’t cancelled the Roast already.” Mark Fish
Stream the uncensored version only on Showmax.
Disclaimer: The show you’re about to watch is not for sensitive viewers. It contains commentary littered with strong language, prejudice, personal insults, unsavoury references to participants’ family members, disagreeable body part comparisons, and much, much more. We’re being serious here: if you are under 18 or easily offended, this is not the show for you.
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